By Sadie Murphy

Valentine’s Day provides the perfect opportunity to highlight the most romantic features of relationships and the most wretched circumstances surrounding heartbreak. Whether it brings crying or loving, this weekend will have a strong effect on many Glenville Students

But who's crying? A study by BBC found that men were more harshly judged about crying in professional settings than women. However, females were more likely to be viewed as manipulative and soft for crying than the opposite sex.¹

Meanwhile, a study by ABC News showed that 12% of individuals have had sex in a professional setting and another 10% have fantasized about it. The study also concluded that of those interviewed, 57% of individuals have had sex outdoors and 48% of women have faked an orgasm. That last fact probably isn’t surprising to most women – who may be crying this valentine’s day for that very reason.²

However, whether it is crying or moaning this Valentine’s Day, students on campus were happy to provide you with a small laugh for the holidays.

Emily*, a junior, admitted to crying in one of her professor’s offices on more than one occasion. Dr. Keene, who she described as “kinda chill” about the situation, offered her some of the candy on his desk to comfort her. When asked if she felt safe expressing herself in this environment, Emily* confirmed that she “never felt uncomfortable with him.” She went as far as to say that they now have a running joke about the situation. Emily* considers the memory to be a positive one - at least, as positive as crying can be.

“I felt better afterwards so now I go to him when I cry about classes,” she disclosed. She advises other students, “don’t be afraid to cry, it’s college. Everybody cries here.” 

 

Joshua*, a junior, said that when it comes to battling back tears until you can find a safe place to voice your frustrations, nothing beats the school’s library. The second floor provides a secluded setting with low traffic density and plenty of shelter behind the vast rows of books. Multi-taskers can challenge themselves by crying while doing class research. The Robert F. Kidd Library has plenty of information on a variety of topics to help you succeed in your studies.

The third floor, for Joshua*, is also a viable option for mid-day breakdowns. While there are more visitors to this area of library, the private study rooms provide a nice and relatively sound reduced atmosphere for tear-jerkers. However, this may is definitely not the best place to deal with other intimate frustrations in your life.

Christopher*, a new addition to campus, suggested a place to cry your eyes out that is exclusive to music majors. When asked where the best place to cry on campus was, he responded, “practice rooms in the FAB, no cap.” Upon further investigation, he explained that “no one can hear you because they are soundproof.”

WARNING~ _{THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION MAY BE UNSETTLING; RATED PG-13 FOR SEXUAL DESCRIPTIONS.} 

In other news, Jacob*, a senior, revealed his campus hook-up spot was a remote campus bathroom. When asked if he had planned to indulge in amorous congress there, he admitted that it was “cause [he] didn’t wanna go back to [his] house.” To his good fortune, no one came into that bathroom while the act was taking place. To our good fortune, even if someone had, he and his accomplice were kind enough to interact behind closed stall doors.

Jacob* acknowledged that he did feel a sense of fear regarding the situation, mentioning that he was listening for footsteps and at times, could have used a little blue pill. Some of the things that ran through his mind were “Damn, somebody gone find out I’m bi” and “Damn, I’m get kicked out.”  Despite this fear, the possible repercussions of his actions did not phase him. He admits to acknowledging them but says they added to the experience and “made it better.” However, once was enough for Jacob* and he admitted that he wasn’t going to make a habit of “playing hide the canoli” in the toilet.

This is not unusual; Bustle reported that public restrooms were the fourth top option for public sex among surveyed. The paper warns "Just make sure you're not, you know, actually getting caught or traumatizing anyone."³

Another student, Joshua*, offered that the ideal location were some of the out of the way nooks and crannies on campus. He also noted that there are a lot of rooms that are empty around campus that provide plenty of seclusion. For Joshua*, having an on-campus job and classes means not getting home until late hours of the evening. He explained, “I can take 30 minutes to fix myself or suffer for the next 8 hours.” When asked if he thought what he was doing was wrong, Joshua* changed the subject without providing a response. However, he did mention that he has almost gotten caught before “but risk versus reward.”

A UC Berkley columnist, Nadia Cho of "Sex on Tuesday, shared her adventures completing her sexual bucket list on her schools paper. She offers, "you are definitely not the first person to have had sex on campus, nor will you be the last.”^4"UC Berkeley retains its standing as the world’s No. 1 public and fourth-best university overall in U.S. News & World Report’s latest global rankings."⁵

Michael*, shared that he helped make the beast with two backs in a secluded location too. Whilst committing the act, he couldn’t help but think “[Expletive], we’re really doing it here.”

It was just me and this other chick who was my program. It was a one-time fling. We were sitting there talking about school, classes, things we missed, and she hinted at never having time to have sex.

I jokingly stated, "what about right now?"

She laughed, mentioned downstairs. Then there was that few seconds of eye contact where we were just like "are you thinking it? I'm thinking it."

We started making out, made our way down, and the rest was fun. It was awesome cause it's almost like the sound traps itself down there, so you have to be truly screaming to get noticed down there. -Michael*

Michael* shared that he would do this again but only with his current girlfriend. “Having sex with her in places other than the apartment is one of her top kinks,” he said, adding a “ha-ha” to the end of his text message.

“I’ve been caught before, took the retribution,” he divulged, “because it is better to do then ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission and be told no.”

You may be amazed to know that there was one spot that had two things in common. The Clark Hall Fountain, depicted below, was mentioned by two individuals for two very different yet similarly intimate reasons. 

Zoe, a senior, divulged that the best place to cry would have to be in front of Clark Hall at the school’s scenic fountain. She stated, “it is outside, so you can get some fresh air, and you don’t feel cramped in a little dorm room while you work through your emotions. It is also a really pretty spot, so after you’re done it’s kind of calming.” The open and calming aura may be what appeals to other students when looking to express some of their other intimate emotions.

Michael*, the recent graduate aforementioned, spilled that he once enjoyed horizontal refreshment by the fountain when he was experiencing some symptoms caused by a small amount of alcohol consumption. “The fountain one was definitely in the moment, at like 2-3 in the morning,” he chuckled.  For him, it wasn’t about the scenery. In fact, he confessed that he “really can’t remember that much [about the event]. I was really drunk, and I remember sobering up a little and looking down and she’s down there and the rest is a big blur.

Warning ~ _{END OF EXPLICIT DETAILS}

While acknowledging that this phenomenon is normal or becoming normal on campuses across America, The Phoenix would like to suggest a few alternate ideas for impressing your crush on a budget this Valentines Day while staying on campus. 

For more information, visit: www.glenville.edu/phoenix/campus-date-ideas-budget.

Note: if you're lucky enough to get lucky this holiday, consider staying in your dorm room. If you or your date has a single room, you can Harry Potter roleplay and pretend you're living under the stairs. If you're not fortunate enough to have a single room, politely ask the roommate to vacate for approx. 5 minutes or take a nice warm shower together behind the locked doors of your shared bathroom. And, as always, be safe.

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* denotes students who wish to keep their information anonymous, all contributors were knowing participants in the article. 

The Phoenix neither condones or judges the actions discussed in this article. However, public indecency, defined as acts involving nudity or sexual activity in view of the public, often with the intent to shock, offend, or arouse, can result in jail time and fines. These repercussions are more severe if the motivation was sexual gratification. For more information, please visit The West Virginia Legislation page.

A special thanks to Logan Hayes for helping contribute photographs for the article.  

1. The case for crying in public - BBC Future
2. POLL: American Sex Survey - ABC News (go.com)
3. The Most Common Locations To Have Sex In Public, According To A New Survey (bustle.com)
4. UC Berkeley paper’s columnist details her campus sex romps in public places - New York Daily News (nydailynews.com)
5. UC Berkeley rated world’s top public school by U.S. News • Cal Parents & Families
6. Sunrise and sunset times in Town of Glenville (timeanddate.com)

For more amusing historic euphemisms for the act, see  "17 Euphemisms for Sex From the 1800s" on Mentalfloss.com: https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/12399/17-euphemisms-sex-1800s

 

17 Euphemisms for Sex From the 1800s" on Mentalfloss.com